


In Another World

by OnTheGround2012



Series: Stream of consciousness in 5 episodes [2]
Category: Eyewitness (US TV)
Genre: Attraction, Closeted Character, Emotions, Episode Related, Feelings, Internal Conflict, Internal Monologue, Kissing, Light Angst, M/M, Realization, Stream of Consciousness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-31
Updated: 2016-10-31
Packaged: 2018-08-28 07:32:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 406
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8436865
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OnTheGround2012/pseuds/OnTheGround2012
Summary: Lukas's feelings in the scene after the gay club (1.03)





	

**Author's Note:**

> * I should say that this is my first attempt at writing something outside of the Teen Wolf fandom, which I thought would never happen, and I guess it's good that it's short because this is very different from my usual style -that is, if I've got one- which is mostly based on dialogues. But anyway, I absolutely love Lukas and Philip and I just needed to give this a try.
> 
> I had a hard time writing a summary because I'm not sure how to describe what this is. I guess I mostly wanted to describe how I see the way that Lukas feels at this point in 1.03 after everything that has happened and I hope someone will like it.
> 
> * Thanks so much to Miraquin for translating my fic to Russian [here](https://ficbook.net/readfic/4890874).

As soon as he gets out, he regrets it. But somehow that's what his life is like lately, doing things and regretting them later.

Once he's outside he's not sure why he reacted the way he did, he knows Philip just wanted to make him forget like he asked and Philip has no problem admitting he's gay, he knows he is and even his mother knows too.

The idea of Philip inside the club alone without him makes him uncomfortable, makes him want to go back inside but he's too proud or too much of a coward to do it. Going back would be like admitting that he cares and, even worse, part of him thinks that it would be like admitting to himself that he belongs there, that he _is_ gay. The other part thinks about Rose and he knows there's nothing there and there will never be, so what's he really doing out here?

He's so fucked up. Philip has fucked up his life in ways that he doesn't want to see, in ways that he never saw coming when they met. He looks around him and he sees men hugging and holding hands without any worry in world and it doesn't feel real because this is not his world. It feels like watching a movie from a first row seat until Philip walks out of the club and he calls him an asshole because that's the only thing he can do.

And the thing about Philip is that he respects you even if he might not get it completely, because he wants you to accept who you are, he doesn't push you to come out and say it out loud. He accepts it when you deny it. But he tries to help the best way he can.

_Nobody cares who you are here. You can be Rick Anderton._

_Nobody cares. Don't you get that?_

He looks around as he thinks about what Philip just said and he knows Philip is right. He remembers that this isn't his world and he might as well be somebody else, somebody who is not afraid to be himself for a few hours. Someone who admits that if his mom was alive, he would like to tell her about the guy he likes. Someone who kisses that guy outside, in public, just because he can. Just because it's addictive kissing him and the way he kisses you back.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for checking it. If you wanna say hi on Tumblr, I'm [@otg2012](http://otg2012.tumblr.com/).
> 
> I love feedback, so yeah, let me know what you think if you want.


End file.
